Like most people, I felt this was a particularly taxing year. Even when I tried my best to stay away from all the hype about the recession, I couldn’t ignore the increasing number of empty storefronts along Main St., and the abundant “Sale” signs in the few that remained open.
I’d lie if I told you I stayed equanimous through the ups and downs. Over and over I heard stories of stress and uncertainty, from friends and clients, and sometimes I couldn’t bring a positive perspective.
I got to think a lot about how incredibly needy and fragile we all are. The sole fact that I open my eyes every morning is a sign of the constant state of grace I live in. The circumstances we are living through force us to remember that nothing can be taken for granted. Absolutely nothing.
The first half of the year I made a big push in the marketing of my practice. I changed my brand entirely, starting with the name (remember SoulTerra Holistic?), and introduced a new website and an ambitious online group program, the True Nourishment Inner Circle, a project that had been simmering in my head for about two years.
In the second half of the year I started to receive signs that I needed to slow down. Over and over, I came down with puzzling aches and pains that forced me to stay away from the computer and instead, take rest. I always try hard to walk my talk, but for the first time in the almost five years I’ve been a counselor, I was conflicted. Can I really be giving this kind of advice? Does this really work? I was constantly rereading testimonials I’ve received over the years, for validation’s sake.
So I slowed down… a lot. I hired a consulting firm to take over the big projects for next year. I released some responsibility and rethought my priorities. I reflected on the pluses and minuses of professional drive and ambition. I stopped comparing myself. I started to recognize I am much more than good enough.
I studied less and cut back severely on my marketing efforts. I saved my productive energy for my private clients and the members of the Inner Circle. I am spending more time sleeping, cooking and idling. My work flow looks completely different from what it was a year ago. I like that.
This year I also celebrated my 10th anniversary of living in the U.S. and I finally got my permanent resident card which seemed like no big deal, until my mom reminded me of how important this was. One other thing I can’t take for granted: my right to live in this country.
I like to think I am wiser than a year ago, that I have grown up. I definitely want to think I am more patient, grateful and compassionate, and that I have a stronger connection to my spirit. I know for sure it feels good to let go of preconceptions about how things should look/be like. That really helps manage your stress :-).
Next week I’ll tell you what I look forward to next year…
What about you? How was your 2009?
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Thanks for the perspective! I’m trying to focus and let go of a few things, too, it’s so hard…
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I so appreciate your honest look at the year past. You are right on target to do what you did. All the best to you for 2010. Follow your heart and your intuition. They will guide you well.
Randall
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Good on you for relaising the need to change and reflect. We all need to do this more to realign with our goals. I am doing this for 2010.
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I love your transparency. And I’m inspired by your example to slow down. You know it’s tough for me, but I’m trying! I’m replacing constant computering with embroidery (yes, needle and thread) and trying not to measure myself against some impossible standard of how much I got done in the 9-5 life. Let’s hope 2010 is the slooowest year ever.
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Thank you all for your loving comments. I doubted about publishing this post as it really uncovers my vulnerability, but hey, it’s OK to remind you that I am human too! (and VERY much so :-)).
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Well, I have some similar thoughts to Kelly. I’m looking into buying a new sewing machine – my old Singer, which was mine was I was a youngster, is on its “death bed”. I used to sew a lot…like I made all my own clothes, even a wedding gown for a friend once. And not that’d I’d go back to making my own clothes again but I shutter when I have pants that need to be hemmed and the darn sewing machine doesn’t work so I have to bring stuff to the tailor. Plus I really used to like to sew. So I’m going back to “old” things that used to make me happy but somehow went by the wayside as life took over. We’ll see!
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